Riven on Dog Eat Dog
by Phil From Produce
Summary: Remember the gameshow Dog eat dog? Well, you'd better, because Riven gets onto show, competing against people like Barbie and Scarface. Wrote this story while waiting for a meeting at the youth employment office.


Title: Riven on Dog eat dog

Summary: Riven goes onto the Gameshow Dog eat Dog and plays for 25,000 dollars, and brooke burn's

land down under.

Rated: S for So f'n stupid

Disclaimer: who knew elmo would sound so unretarded?

--

"Hi, i'm brooke burns, and welcome back to Dog eat dog." i'm left with 3 contestants,

only one will go on against the dog pound and win 25,000 dollars!" said Brooke

"Why don't you pop out a Tit and get moving!" yelled riven on his podium.

"ok, in podium 1, we have Strong bad from strongbadia." said brooke

"oh yeah, this time, i'm totally gonna impress the chicks." said Strong bad

"And in podium 2, we have barbie, who's only concern is her hair." said Brooke burns

"Brooke, don't make me swim in a tank with sharks..." said barbie

"Sure, and in podium 3, with his...pants down, it's riven!" said Brooke

Riven had a woman covering his land down under.

"Oh yeah, ooooooohhhhh yeah! uh, um, i'm sorry, uh baby, we'll have to finish later. business." said Riven

"Who the hell is down there with you?" asked Brooke

"Your mom." said Riven

"oh,...anyways, our final challenge is this, our contestants will have to eat 10 hot dogs and puke them

all out in the end." said brooke

"ooooo this is gonna be easy." said Barbie

"just like the shopping challenge." said Riven

"Shut up! you're just jealous because women..." Barbie pointed at herself" ..are better than men at

shopping." said Barbie

"I thought you were a 'teen supermodel'." said Riven

"Shut up!" said Barbie

"Will the both of you just shut up! you've been arguing the whole show!" said Strong bad

"Yes, now we will bring out the hot dogs." said Brooke

"At least my man-boobs are more real than her fake ones." whispered riven to strong bad

"I heard that!" said barbie

"Me too...uh, i mean, uh...ok, players, you'll have 10 minutes to eat all the hot dogs. starting, now!" said Brooke

"Uh, brooke, i can't eat these! they're not low in fat!" said barbie

"You'd think she'd like a fat weiner." said Riven

"Shut up!" said Barbie

"Not just in her mouth either." added strong bad

"Shut up!" yelled barbie

"Well, i guess that rules barbie out!" said brooke

"No! girl power! i'll eat it...and pack on more calories...and be a fat pig!" barbie cried as she stuffed her mouth

full of hot dogs.

But riven was already chowing down on his 8th, when barbie was on her 1st. strong bad was already puking.

Eventually, riven finished first. he decided to aim his puke on barbie.

"Eww! my dress!" said barbie

"Sorry, barbie, i was aiming for your fake boobs, not your fake face." said Riven

"Screw you!" yelled barbie

"ok, i guess that wraps up the showdown round, now, barbie, strong bad, you'll both go to the dog pound,

and you'll have to answer questions in order to make the money." said brooke

"No shit." said Riven

"Riven, shut up. now, barbie, strong bad, please go join pikachu, scarface, and finally,

Elmo from sesame street." said brooke

"hi!" said elmo

"Yes elmo, we know." said Brooke "Now, if riven wins, he gets 25,000 dollars, but if the dog pound wins,

they get 5 grand each."

"i'll answer questions but for 5 grand i'm a carve you up real' nice." said scarface

"I'm sorry, but i already have 2 boyfriends who do that." said brooke

"Ok, it's just elviras just not letting me f--k her anymore. not since i took away her f--kin' coke." said Scarface

"Pika-pika! (Translation; Watch your langauge)" said Pikachu

"Moving on, the first category is...bands that end in ..."layer" ok, riven, pick a person to take the Question."

"Uh, elmo, i choose you." said Riven

"Hi!" said elmo

"Ok, elmo, here's your question. what band, made up of kerry king, jeff hanneman, tom araya

and dave lombardo released their albums under the name Slayer?" asked brooke

"Ha-ha, that tickles!" said elmo

"No, i'm sorry, it is not ha-ha that tickles! it's slayer" said brooke

"Hi" said elmo, again

"ok, thats one point for riven. riven, your next category is "What not to wear"" said brooke

"Oh boy, i think i'll let fake-boobs, fake jobs barbie take this one." said Riven

"What?" exclaimed barbie

"For a point for the dog pound..." brooke interrupted "What should women not wear on a topless beach?"

"This hostess is my kind of babe" said Riven

"Riven, shut up. barbie, gimme an answer." said Brooke

"uh, i am a fashion expert, and a constable in the fashion police...uh...uh..." the buzzer cut barbie off

"and a brainless plastic whore." said Riven

"Whats a whore?" asked Barbie

"anyways, the answer was bikini top." said Brooke

"haha, another point for me!" said riven

"ok, the next category is...pokemon. riven, pick your pony." said Brooke

"Shit, uh..." riven was cut off

"A pony named shit, ok! hey, chester, beini, bring out shit!" said Brooke

A big guy and a small (but cute) chinese girl brought out a pony named shit.

"You like him?" asked brooke

"He smells like shit." said Riven

"Exactly. thats why we named him that." said Brooke

"You like?" asked Beini

"I raised him. i put fertilizer in his pen so he'd grow!" said Chester

"great. now, riven, you can quit now, and take shit home, or you can go one more category

and win the 25,000 dollars!" said Brooke

"I don't need shit. gimme the last question, and i'm picking scarface to answer it!" said Riven

"hey, f--k you!" said Scarface

"no thanks, i've got a hot girlfriend to bang." said riven

"Me too." said brooke

Everyone looked at her

"uh, i mean, scarface, heres your pokemon question...what N64 game is based on Pokemon fighting in a

stadium?" asked brooke

"I dunno, can i use a lifeline, brooke?" asked Scarface

"sure." said brooke

"ok! Say hello to my lil' friend!" said Scarface, bringing out his charmander to the studio.

"Ah, thats not fair! he's bringing out a pokemon to answer a pokemon question." said riven

"oh, boo-hoo." said barbie

"More like fake-boob-oo to you!" said riven to barbie

"Hey! f--k you!" said barbie

"no thanks, i bang girls, not plastic brainless whores who sleep around for drugs and money." said riven

"kind of like my wife." said Scarface

"Dude, just answer the question." said Brooke

"Charmander! charmander!!" said charmander

"uh, can we accept an answer in poke-speak?" asked Brooke to the judges

the judges said "yes"

"ok, we can! scarface, you just scored a point for your team!" said Brooke

"good, now i'm gonna go score some yeyo." said Scarface

"ok, next category! it's names that end in "omestar", and riven, who are you picking to answer this one?" asked

brooke

"uh, strong bad, you up for this one?" asked riven

"uh, sure. ok, brookie baby, gimme the question." said strong bad

"ok, strong bad, tell me who is the most awesome, greatest, best person ever to exist?" said brooke

"uh, me!" said strong bad

"no! it's homestar, remember, we were going for omestar." said Brooke

"no! homestar sucks!" said Strong bad

"Well, i guess that means riven wins the 25,000!" said Brooke

"sweet! but i want something else with it." said Riven

"whats that?" asked brooke

"you in bed with me." said Riven

"ok..." said brooke

Riven pulled down his pants and took off his shirt.

"thats all the time we have for Dog eat dog. hopefully this show wont get us cancelled." said Brooke

the credits rolled as riven laid in bed with brooke going up and down on him in the bed.

--

the end


End file.
